Friday, March 14, 2008

My story for CCM.

This is my four page story I wrote up for our communications contest which will be judged tomorrow. Enjoy!

I had just come home from my last 4-H BLU retreat, tired and looking forward to a good night’s sleep in my own bed. When I walked into my room I knew something wasn’t right. I am a neat freak when it comes to my bedroom. I have to have everything in its place before I can go to bed.

I flicked on the light switch, and there it was, a mess. The kids had found their way into my room while I was away. It wasn’t too bad. The main thing I noticed was my treasure chest, which usually sat up on a high shelf, was forced open with its contents strewn out on the bed and floor. I say forced because it has a lock to it, but the two nails that hold it in place are barely wedged into the wood of the chest and can easily be pulled out, thus making the lock pointless. To me, the chest looked more genuine with it.

I felt anger and annoyance bubble up inside of me as I threw my duffle bag and purse onto my bed.

“They’re always getting into my room,” I thought. But my annoyance changed to interest as I inspected the articles around me. I hadn’t been in this chest for what seemed like a long time. Childhood memories filled my head as I took a closer look at the chest’s contents. There was a map of the ‘Lord of the Rings’ kingdom, and one map that I had drawn up myself as a kid. It was marked in pencil on yellowing paper, with labels like ‘The City of Montopia’, and ‘The Dark Forest’ scratched on it. The edges were tattered and I had torn it in many places to make it look more old and authentic. There was a key with a tassel tied to the end of it, which I used to pretend was the key that could open anything. I don’t even remember where I had found it. Two small bottles of sparkles were also there. “Fairy dust,” I remembered. A letter opener with a blue detailed handle, had been my weapon for protection on these many adventures. There were two gold lockets as well. I used to pretend they contained pictures of the long lost parents, or loved ones, in my excursions. And there was my invisibility cloak. It was a plain scrap of 4x5’ bright silver cloth that I had bought on a whim when I was fourteen years old.

When I was little I used to make believe a lot. I would make up stories as I was walking through our woods around our house. The treasure chest contained some of the props I had used as a child. Seeing them again made me wonder what had happened to those days. Why didn’t I make believe anymore?

“I don’t have time,” I thought. Why is it that we grow out of these things? I can remember when I specifically realized that I was growing out of make believing and adventures. I was probably around fifteen years old, and I was baby-sitting at a friend’s house. I was watching two little girls, and while the younger was down for her nap, Chrissie was playing in the backyard with her neighbor friend. They asked me if I wanted to play with them.

“You can be a princess, and I’ll be the queen, and we’re trapped on this island with lava surrounding us, and our dragon has to come save us, but we have to call our fairy godmother first so she can grant a wish for us, and there’s a pink bird that can talk to us….” And they went on and on, and I didn’t care. I had no enthusiasm for their imaginative story. And it hit me then and there. “I must be growing up. I used to love to play like this. What’s wrong with me?” Looking back now, I wish I could have spent more time playing make believe, and just play in
general. Through high school, I had less and less time to do things on my own for random fun. I just grew out of it. It didn’t seem important enough.

Now that I’m older, everyone’s asking me “Where are you going to college?”, “Do you have a boyfriend yet?” and “What are your plans for this year?” At times like these, I wish I could turn back the clock and be a care free kid again, playing cops and robbers with my cousins, running from an evil band of thieves through our back woods or making friends with an invisible fairy. Then I laugh and think “We all need to grow up sometime.” I started to replace the items back into the treasure chest, to be stored until a later time.

“What would I put in a treasure chest today?” I wondered, and I started to list them off in my head. The bible, as faith has grown to be my number one importance to me over the years. My CD came to mind. Yes, it’s really mine. This last December, my brother, two friends of mine and I had made the trip down to a friend’s house in Oklahoma, to record some of my music. That is a treasure to me now. Of course my family and friends came to mind, but they wouldn’t all fit in this little treasure chest now would they? Although, I could put a few pictures of them inside.

I’d have to put a little four leaf clover or something of that sort to represent 4-H. I have so many memories from this organization, and as this is my last year of 4-H, I cherish it more now
than ever.

My friend’s that live far away, that I don’t get to see very often, would have to be represented somehow. Maybe by a letter or trinket I’d received from them.

As I thought of all these different things, it got me to thinking of what is important to me right now in my life. The Lord, and my family being the most important. Over the years, the items in my ‘treasure chest’ may change, but those top two never will. And that’s how it should be. The physical things in life come and go, but God and family, I will cherish forever.

I straightened up, and put the chest back onto the shelf it belonged on. This blast from the past had given me a little wake up call, reminding me as we all need to be reminded, what’s important to us.

My greatest fear!

If you would have asked me what my greatest fear was a few months ago (Love those surveys!), I would have told you, without hesitation, "The unknown future." Not knowing what my life holds, where I'm going to be a year from now, terrified me. But in a recent contemplation I found, that the future isn't really my greatest fear.

It's failing.

I hate failing, and a lot of times, that fear stops me from trying new things, because I don't want to fail at them. See, it's not the unknown future that terrifies me, but the fear that I'll fail at life. I know what your thinking. How do you fail at life? What I mean is, that I won't get to do all that I plan and hope to. My goals in life are a little old fashioned. All I want to do is get married to my best friend, be a help meet to my husband and have many many children. Funny goals huh? Lol. They may not mean much to you, but they're everything to me, and I fear that they'll never happen. I have a lot of good friends with similar goals, who aren't married yet, and I wonder what chance do I have when they're still "On the market." Lol.

I know I need to get over this fear. I fail miserably everyday, to be who I want to be, and act how I know I should. I'm only human right? Praise Yahweh that He doesn't judge us for our faults, failures and silly worries. All I need to fear is Him! It's comforting to know that He has my life all planned out for me.


Yahweh bless!